Dear diary,

good news! Roger is lost at sea! Am I finally rid of him? Am I dreaming?

Apparently, he got himself into trouble, as usual, and ended up getting thrown of the MS Love Handle. He had it coming. I’m just sad that I wasn’t the one to top him.

I can’t wait to tell Fiona! She’ll be so pleased!

Bye for now,
Willie

To: Billy Gates III

Dear great, great grandaddy,

I have told the programmers to look into your problem. However, I can’t do much more right now, as I’m busy working on that world domination idea we discussed over Sunday lunch. I’ll fill you in next Sunday. I’m sure you’ll be pleased to hear about my progress.

Your little Willie

Willie Gates VI
CEO of MegaSmooth Software
(and soon to be ruler of the world!)

Politicians are by nature unfit to give an intellectual and good response to any question you ask them. Therefore, it is always better to communicate with them by using statements.

Example:

Avoid: “What do you think about MegaSmooth?”

Use: “MegaSmooth makes the best software in the world. You like it. A lot.”

From: Billy Gates III
————————————————————— 

My dear grandson,

you must help me. My new tv-link doesn’t work as it should. They say it’s something with the software, but I don’t know. All I know is that I’m stuck watching old re-runs of Jerry Springer on the Golden Oldies Channel, until they fix it.

Can you, please, put in a good word for your great, great grandfather?

Grandaddy

————————————
Billy Gates III
Founder of MegaSmooth Software
————————————

Dear Diary,

today, I took my first step towards world domination. They swallowed my bait, hook, line and sinker, and I don’t think there was a single person there who didn’t think I was brilliant. Including myself.  Great, great grandaddy will be so pleased with me. I’m everything he could ever have hoped for. It’s a shame that our programmers can’t get his direct tv-link to work. If they don’t make it work soon, I’ll have to let a few heads roll to show that I simply will not have them bugging great, great grandaddy.

I’ll be back to tell you more about my success as soon as possible.

Nighty, night,
Willie